Week 14 I am God's choice

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Romans 8:30-31 (KJV)

Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God for us, who can be against us?

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Have you ever asked God for something, and then when you got it, you realized it wasn't anything you expected, so you wanted God to take it back?

No, just me.

When I was a young girl, I was enamored with the piano in church. I loved it as the person playing the piano alongside the choir was able to create sounds that pulled at my emotions.

The experience was divine. The music gave the songs life and power.

At one point and time, my church didn't have a regular pianist. I remember asking God for the gift of playing piano so that I could help my church one day.

Over time, God answered my prayer. I received my first keyboard in the fifth grade, I continued and had piano lessons in high school, and I minored in music in college.

My church was even gracious enough to pay for my piano lessons outside of the instructions I received in school. I would play the piano on youth Sundays sometimes, but nothing major.

One day, the person who became our regular church pianist wasn't available. I knew God wanted me on that keyboard, but I was trying to get up the nerve to do it.

It wasn't until the altar call at the end of service that I made my way to the keyboard to play. That day began the chronicle of facing my fears of playing piano at church.

However, it wasn't long before I wanted to give up. I could only play a few songs that the choir knew, and I would trip over my keys sometimes because I was so self-conscious about my performance.

Despite the encouragement from others who told me to keep up the good work, I was too focused on the negative. The negative attitudes and unhelpful comments attributed toward me in the church.

Some members were aggravated that they were stuck with me as the musician because I didn't know how to play all the songs they wanted to sing. One choir member said, "I know the baby is trying, but she's not there yet. She doesn't know how to play our hit songs."

I know that my church needed a musician, but more than anything, I was embarrassed at my development. Growth is already an uncomfortable concept, but try growing in front of an audience.

Everything within me wanted to shrink. I know that God wants me to play, but I wanted him to take the gift back and get someone more skilled to do it.

I'm talking to the God who knows the beginning from the end, the one who orders our steps.

So, why would God orchestrate what appears to be a disaster? Why would he have me endure what I felt was embarrassment and unnecessary warfare?

That's when God had to remind me that I am his choice. Our regular musician wasn't available, not just by chance, but because God orchestrated it all along.

God had to remind me that he is the one who gets the glory, and he gets to choose how he gets it.

Yes, I might not be able to play like the other skilled musicians in the world, but God chose me. He could have used anyone else, but he chose me.

Sometimes, we try to make sense of God's choices. Why would he pick me when I am unqualified, why would he pick me when others do it better?

God doesn't have to explain his choices to anyone, he does what he wants when he wants. Knowing this, I had to give up my desire of wanting to be spared from ever having to play the piano in church and give God my obedient yes.

God is getting the glory out of our lives. Right now, it looks and feels chaotic but when he's done it will be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

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Pray this prayer

Father,

You know my beginning from my end, and you know exactly how you intend to get the glory out of my life. I yield myself, a willing vessel for your use. Lead me through my development process, and help me to always remember that I am your choice. In Jesus's name, amen.